THE SEEKER

William Fowkes, Playwright & Author

	EXCERPTS *Full-length Play* *The Seeker* A Play in Two Acts by William Fowkes. He’s looking for God, love, and sex--but not necessarily in that order. Available for performance or publication Click here for more information. DESCRIPTION: One man’s spiritual journey spans thirty years and covers a wide arc from a philosophy class at Columbia University to an evangelical summer retreat in Maine, an ashram in India, and the decaying piers at the foot of Christopher Street. But always the question looms, “Is that all there is?”One man’s Tommy Hamilton is a gay man on a quest for God, love, and sex--but not necessarily in that order. . But is it for God, love, or sex? He traffics in all three, but sometimes the jam they create is more than he can handle. Through it all, the question looms, “Is that all there is?”
	EXCERPT #1: ACT ONE PART ONE: CHRISTIAN TRIANGLES OLDER TOMMY HAMILTON (Voiceover) Consider a triangle—where do triangles exist? Professor Brumbaugh posed that question in my introductory philosophy class at Columbia University many years ago. It set me off on a spiritual quest I still haven’t quite completed. Scene: Spring 1972. A college lecture hall. PROFESSOR BRUMBAUGH (Enters and addresses the audience) Consider a triangle—where do triangles exist? (A painting is lowered—a modern geometric painting with a green triangle at its center.) Let’s try a little demonstration. (Pointing to the painting) Focus on the green triangle at the center of this painting. (Responding to a question) No—I’m not going to hypnotize you. (Dramatically) I’m going to blow your mind! (Beat) You see, this green object isn’t really a triangle at all, is it? What are triangles, anyway? (Responding to a comment) Three-sided objects? Not quite. To be precise—and you can have no greater aspiration in life than to achieve precision—triangles are nothing more than three-sided geometrical figures. As such, they don’t exist in space at all. Only triangular OBJECTS exist in space. But triangularity itself? The very idea of a triangle? Where does THAT exist? (Beat) An A-plus to the student who can answer that question. No one? (Beat) OK, when do you think the idea of a triangle came into being? No one? (Beat) OK, guys—and ladies from Barnard—don’t you think triangularity must have existed in some sense before any triangular objects existed in a physical sense? (Beat) Suppose there had never been any triangular objects in the world and one day, all of a sudden—poof!—a rock shaped like a triangle appeared on the scene. Would that have been the birth of triangularity? (Lowering his glasses and staring at the class) I hope that’s not what you think. (Exits) OLDER TOMMY HAMILTON (Voiceover) Professor Brumbaugh’s question made me think there must be SOMETHING out there—an eternal realm of mathematics at the very least. Soon enough I cracked open the door to the spiritual world even further. Oh, I’m not talking about standard issue Christianity—I had my share of that growing up in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. I’m talking about what happened one summer. You remember college summers, don’t you? When widows deflower young men in resort towns all across the country. (Beat) Except in my case. Because I’m gay. Or should I say I WAS gay? I’m not even sure such categories apply anymore—but there was a time when such categories most definitely applied. Scene: Summer 1972. The interior of Book World in Boothbay Harbor, Maine. A young man enters and begins to tidy things up. OLDER TOMMY HAMILTON (Voiceover) MY summer was the summer of ’72. My resort town was Boothbay Harbor, Maine. I worked as the manager of Book World, a summer bookshop owned by the parents of a college friend. That’s me—Tommy Hamilton at 19. God!! Do 19 year-olds realize how young they are?! Tommy, give us a little tour, will you? YOUNG TOMMY O. K.—cool! Book World! Wow—what can I say? This place was one far-out freak show, man! Wasn’t very big, but we attracted everyone—crusty locals, hippies passing through town, families doing the whole New England tour thing. And I got to pick the books! Well, some of them. We had to stock your basic summer reading—your gothic romances, your mysteries, your Harlequins, your Louis L’Amours, your self-help books, you’re I’m OK You’re OK Open Marriage Tranquility Without Drugs kind of stuff. But beyond that—my taste ruled. At Book World you could find The Secular City by Harvey Cox, The Pleasure of the Text by Roland Barthes, Tennessee Williams’ Memoirs, all the novels of Thomas Hardy, all the works of Alan Watts, R.D. Laing, Susan Sontag and the Bhagavad-Gita. In short, my whole freshman reading list. They didn’t sell, but they kept me company. Made up for the lack of company on other fronts, if you know what I mean.The pay sucked, but the adventures more than made up for it. Including one life-long adventure that started right here. (Christian enters.) I didn’t even notice him at first, but then I spotted him poring over the philosophy and religion books in the corner. I always stared at the cute guys. I always undressed them and had my way with them. (Beat) They never even knew. But this one stared back. The first one that long wet summer to stare back. After a while I just had to break the silence. (Approaching Christian) May I help you?
	CHRISTIAN (In his Southern accent) Have you read this? TOMMY (Examining the book in Christian’s hand) No way! It’s inane. CHRISTIAN Then why do you carry it? TOMMY Because our customers like inane books. (They both laugh.) CHRISTIAN Do you sell anything besides inane books? TOMMY (Handing him a book) Try this one. CHRISTIAN (Reading the book’s cover) “The Phenomenology of Christianity by Edward Carr.” (Handing it back with a look of disdain) Actually, I’ve heard it’s tedious. TOMMY Are you kidding? It’s far out! Carr’s a groovy writer! CHRISTIAN He may be groovy, but I never read books with blue covers. TOMMY (Putting the book back on the shelf) Oh, I see. CHRISTIAN (Openly flirting now) No, no, kind Bookshop Proprietor. Give it back to me. I shall take your recommendation seriously. Give it back, please! TOMMY (Giving the book back) Well, all right then. CHRISTIAN (Studying the book) I like books about Christianity. I’m a practicing Christian, ya know. TOMMY Hey—so am I. CHRISTIAN But I don’t know about this big word—“phenomenology.” Sounds kinda highfalutin’ for a Christian book. What’s it about, anyway? TOMMY It’s something I’m studying at school—it’s mind-blowing. CHRISTIAN We don’t like to blow minds where I come from. TOMMY Where do you come from? CHRISTIAN South Carolina. TOMMY Oh. CHRISTIAN Oh? Is that a Yankee putdown? TOMMY No, I’ve just never been… CHRISTIAN Where are YOU from? TOMMY I go to Columbia University—you know, in New York. CHRISTIAN I get the picture—so tell me about this mind-blowing book. TOMMY Do I have to? CHRISTIAN I’d be most appreciative. TOMMY Well—phenomenology. I wrote a paper on it. It’s about describing human experience without considering the validity or invalidity of your beliefs. CHRISTIAN Go on. TOMMY You see, if you don’t worry about whether what you believe is really true—if you just bracket all that—you can focus on the experience itself and come to understand it better. CHRISTIAN Do you realize how cute you are when you go on like that? TOMMY You think I’m cute? CHRISTIAN As a button! TOMMY (Nervously) Then, would you like to stick around? I’ll be closing the store for dinner in a few minutes. CHRISTIAN Sure—I’d love to hear more about this phenomenology. Why don’t we grab a bite to eat or somethin’? TOMMY (Announcing) Ladies and Gentlemen, Book World is now closed! We’ll re-open at seven! (Ushering Christian out) OK—let’s go! CHRISTIAN (Grabbing Tommy’s arm) Hold on, cowboy! Aren’t you forgettin’ something? We haven’t been properly introduced. TOMMY That’s cool. I’m Mr. Thomas William Hamilton. But call me Tommy. And who might you be? CHRISTIAN I might be Jonas Salk, but I happen to be Christian Barrie. TOMMY Cool! Now, I’ve only got an hour off—(checking his watch) make that fifty-eight minutes—so we better get going! CHRISTIAN Where are we going? TOMMY To my place—unless you have a better idea. Where are you staying? CHRISTIAN Out on Butternut Island. TOMMY That’s a thirty minute drive from here—so it’s got to be my place. Let’s go, man! CHRISTIAN You don’t have to make me dinner! TOMMY I’m not going to make you dinner. I thought we were just going to—you know. CHRISTIAN What? TOMMY (Pause) Uh-oh. I’m sorry—I think I jumped to a conclusion. CHRISTIAN What did you think we were going to do? TOMMY Forget it—dinner would be fine. (Brightening at an idea) Or hey—how about a picnic out on the rocks at Ocean Point? CHRISTIAN My fate is in your hands, Yankee! BLACKOUT [End of 1^st excerpt] ... EXCERPT #2 BELOW
	EXCERPT #2: Two months later... Scene: That night. Butternut Island. Outside Retreat House. Tommy is approaching the house cautiously. A retreat member takes him by surprise. JOHNNY REDMOND They’re all inside at a prayer meeting. TOMMY Johnny Redmond! You startled me, man! Have you heard any news about Christian? Has he come back? JOHNNY Oh, you mean Teacher’s Pet? I don’t keep track of his whereabouts. TOMMY Who should I ask? JOHNNY Like I said, they’re all inside. TOMMY (Starting to go) Then I guess I’ll just go inside. JOHNNY No one’s gonna tell you what’s really going on. TOMMY (Stopping) You make it sound like an Agatha Christie mystery. JOHNNY You’ve been reading too many books, Mr. Bookseller. TOMMY C’mon, Johnny! If you know anything, why don’t you just tell me? JOHNNY We’re not supposed to divulge too much information to outsiders. I could be punished for breaking the code. (Laughs) TOMMY Look, I don’t care if you guys are plotting to take over the world or whatever the fuck you’re doing. I just want to find out if my friend is all right. Can you help or not? JOHNNY You know, you’re awfully cute, Tommy. I bet Pete had a real good time with you. (Beat) But what are you gonna do now that he dumped you? Are you gonna run away, too? TOMMY What makes you think there’s anything going on between us? JOHNNY Was! You mean “was,” Tommy. That’s all over now. TOMMY I don’t think you know anything! (Starts to leave) JOHNNY (Calling him back) Hey, I’ll come clean with you! (Less belligerently) You see, Father Pete and I had a special relationship, too—back at Redeemer College. (Beat) But once we came up here, he started pulling away. (Beat) I was stupid to think I could just sneak into his room, but I wanted to sleep in his arms again—at least for one night. But I’m glad I caught him with Christian, ’cause he started paying a lot more attention to me. Made me his special adviser. (Beat) Then I discovered he had LOTS of special advisors around here. TOMMY Is EVERYONE at Redeemer College gay? JOHNNY I just think Father Pete has a knack for picking out the ones with potential. TOMMY You mean the ones willing to bend over backwards to keep his secret! JOHNNY (Proudly) I bend whatever way he wants. TOMMY And all the while you continue to preach celibacy and denounce homosexuality. JOHNNY We don’t denounce it exactly. TOMMY You mean you accept it? JOHNNY Heck no—they suspend students if they find out you’re gay. TOMMY How nice. JOHNNY What do you expect? This is a Christian school—a Christian retreat. (Tommy starts to storm off.) Don’t bother checking his room! I already looked—all his stuff’s gone. TOMMY (Stopping) O. K., so at least we know he’s alive. JOHNNY I wouldn’t be too sure. How do you know someone else didn’t remove his stuff? TOMMY (Sarcastically) Yeah—and how do you know this isn’t all a dream? JOHNNY Trust me—my dreams are much better than this. TOMMY (Angrily) Just tell me what you know, goddammit! JOHNNY Swearing’s the sign of a tortured soul, Tommy TOMMY I was right—you don’t know anything. JOHNNY Jesus gives me all I need to know. TOMMY Jesus—right! I bet HE’D fit in here just fine, wouldn’t he? JOHNNY I certainly hope so. TOMMY It’s all games and deception with you people, isn’t it? Nobody knows anything! Nothing’s what it seems! (Beat) Christian Barrie—the sweet, sensitive guy who’s also one sick boy. Father Pete—the caring Christian leader who’s really a deceitful opportunist. The God who’s three gods in one. The son who’s human but also not just human. The wine that changes into blood; the bread that… It’s all just one big sordid mystery! JOHNNY You’ve got a twisted mind. You’d be much better off if you just gave yourself over to Christ. TOMMY Do you seriously believe God needs an agent? JOHNNY I believe whatever Father Pete tells me. TOMMY And did he tell you God’s agent needs an agent, too? JOHNNY You’re losing me. TOMMY Do you really think Father Pete will lead you to Christ? JOHNNY He can lead me anywhere. TOMMY You’re missing my point! Or does God just want us to shut up and accept it all blindly, amen? JOHNNY You think too much, Mr. Bookseller. TOMMY I certainly hope I do. Now leave me alone. No—I’ll leave YOU alone! All of you! You’re all just full of—Jesus Christ! (Storms off) JOHNNY Amen. BLACKOUT [End of Excerpt #2] ... EXCERPT #3 BELOW
	EXCERPT #3: PART ONE: CHRISTIAN TRIANGLES 1985 TOMMY (To the audience) What I told Molly was no lie—as a gay man and a rising advertising star, I was able to live a very wild life indeed. Except for the big party pooper of the decade. Sure, the AIDS crisis made me slow down and practice safe sex—but I wasn’t always selective about where I practiced it. Scene: A month later. The Christopher Street piers. (The stage goes dark, with Tommy barely visible.) It took several moments for my eyes to adjust as I walked among the silent seekers on the rotting piers at the foot of Christopher Street. I joined a groping session already in progress, jeans dropping all around me. (We dimly see another figure.) One fellow adventurer lavished me with so much loving and licking, the others backed off and left us alone. TOMMY (Coming up for air) You come here often? ANONYMOUS MAN Shh! TOMMY Live around here? ANONYMOUS MAN Shh! TOMMY What do you like to do? ANONYMOUS MAN Hey man, don’t break the mood! TOMMY Oh, you DO talk! ANONYMOUS MAN You wanna do this or don’t ya? TOMMY Of course I wanna—I just like to know what I’m getting. ANONYMOUS MAN I think you can feel what you’re gettin’. TOMMY I think I can. (Pause) You obviously work out a lot. ANONYMOUS MAN I guess. TOMMY No, you do! I can tell. Where do you work out? ANONYMOUS MAN At the Y. TOMMY Cool. ANONYMOUS MAN So you wanna do this or not? TOMMY Sure. ANONYMOUS MAN Are you a top or a bottom? TOMMY What are you looking for? ANONYMOUS MAN A bottom. TOMMY Then I’m a bottom—a big bottom. ANONYMOUS MAN Now put a plug in it and bend over. TOMMY I’ll bend over, but the rest is your job. ANONYMOUS MAN Shh! TOMMY Aye, aye, sir! (They simulate anal sex in the dark.) Yeah! Yeah! That’s it! Keep it up! ANONYMOUS MAN Ahhh!! (Collapses on top of Tommy) TOMMY (After a pause) That was good! YOU’RE good! ANONYMOUS MAN (Starting to get up) Oh, shit! TOMMY (Said blissfully) What’s the matter? ANONYMOUS MAN The fuckin’ condom broke. TOMMY It’s all right—I’ve got more. ANONYMOUS MAN No, you don’t understand—I’m POSITIVE! TOMMY I get it—you said the fuckin’ condom broke! ANONYMOUS MAN No, I mean I’m HIV positive! TOMMY Oh, shit! ANONYMOUS MAN You better get tested, man! BLACKOUT Scene: A few weeks later. An auditorium. A large picture of Master hangs from the ceiling or on the wall. Tommy and Molly enter. TOMMY Where did all these people come from? And when did India conquer New York? MOLLY Behave yourself! TOMMY I just need some reassurance I haven’t made a big mistake. They’re not going to pour hot oil over me, are they? MOLLY You’re the one that asked to come along—I’m not forcing this on you. So just sit down and listen to the speaker. (An efficient woman sporting a navy blue power suit and a floppy scarf necktie approaches the podium) SPEAKER A good friend of mine died unexpectedly last month. (Dramatic pause) This sort of thing happens all the time, I know, but when it happens to someone close to you, it hits with a special force. The only certainty of life is that we are going to die. For most people, this is a source of great pain and suffering, so they try to look and act younger, thinking they can put death off for now. As Scarlett O’Hara used to say, “I’ll think about that tomorrow.” But, of course, she never had any intention of thinking about that tomorrow. Nor do most people. TOMMY (To Molly) Clever bit. MOLLY Shush. SPEAKER But our approach at The Master’s Way is different. It teaches us to embrace death, and we are fortunate indeed to have a master, Guruji Singh, the sixth in a line of masters reaching back to the early nineteenth century, who teaches us how to do that. The central lesson of his teaching is that life has a purpose. Forget what the agnostics and atheists say, those poor souls who take a perverse pleasure in declaring that life has NO purpose, NO meaning. TOMMY I never said that! I don’t believe that! The point is to CREATE that purpose. MOLLY Tommy! SPEAKER WE know that the purpose of life is to commune with God. Through the Master’s Way, we acquire methods to facilitate that communion. Through the practice of meditation and by living a pure life, we can rise spiritually and return to the ultimate source of that positive energy called the Lord, or God. Many people mistakenly think they can fill the loneliness and emptiness of the human condition by connecting with things and people in the world. They set out to acquire material possessions. They sleep around, craving more and more physical connections. They dilute their consciousness with drugs or alcohol. TOMMY Sounds like a good plan! (Molly just stares at him.) SPEAKER And all the while, what they really want is to re-connect with their own inner spiritual power. There’s no denying the distractions of this world are powerful. But all of this—even great works of art, literature, and music—all of this is just illusion, or what the Masters call maya [pronounced “my-uh”]. When we surrender ourselves in meditation, we replicate the process of dying, and see beyond the illusion. Which brings us back to my good friend. I feel a connection with her more than a loss, for what SHE has done, I practice doing every day. Death holds no terror for me, or for any Satsangi. We embrace it, for we know it is simply one more stage in our journey back home to the Lord. Thank you. (Tommy applauds.) MOLLY (Scolding Tommy) What are you doing? TOMMY (Stops applauding) She deserves an Oscar for her performance! Or else she’s undergone some sort of amazing transformation. MOLLY We’ve all undergone that transformation. TOMMY You mean you believe all this stuff? MOLLY I experience it daily. And don’t laugh—I guess bringing you here was a mistake. TOMMY I’m not laughing. MOLLY You think we’re ridiculous. TOMMY No, not at all. I don’t get it, but I respect and admire you. MOLLY (Flirtatiously) So will you start coming to meetings with me? TOMMY We’ll see. BLACKOUT TOMMY (To the audience) Yes, I thought they were all ridiculous, but I also couldn’t stop thinking about them. With a death sentence hanging over my head, maybe this was the answer. But a few months later, I got another answer, the answer to the biggest question on my mind. And the answer was negative. As in “NOT infected.” NOT exposed. NOT going to die prematurely. Negativity as a positive. No to death; yes to life. I WAS GOING TO LIVE! Despite temptations to go back to the bars and the baths, in the end I decided to put my life on a different track—one that took me to Baltimore to join several hundred of my fellow seekers. [END OF EXCERPTS] Some feedback on The Seeker: “The play has a plethora of ideas to offer... a very complex and rewarding play that will get people talking. I hope many companies will take an interest in it…” - InterAct Theatre Company, Philadelphia “The concept is fresh & interesting… a set of characters that are mysterious, opinionated & determined to find their place in life… vivid personalities that crash & play off of each other well.…” - Pittsburgh Public Theater “…pass along our encouragement for its development.” - Ten Grand Productions, NYC “Coming to terms with one’s sexual identity and desires within the Christian faith is an interesting & prescient basis for a play.” - Walnut Street Theatre, Philadelphia Click here for more information. To return to the Excerpts Home Page, click here. To return to the Main Home Page, click here
	William Fowkes, Playwright & Author


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